‘I am not the backup child’: Parents demand 16-year-old son follow their strict life plan for him after his ‘golden child’ 18-year-old brother drops out of college, son refuses their ‘help’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Jun 27, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

The worst thing about not being your parents' golden child is being forced to watch as their stern parenting ruins your sibling's life, and then have them turn to you as their second option. 

It's one thing to watch as your parents pour all their attention into your sibling, and have them completely ignore you in the process. It is another thing to be a witness to their 'failing' to guide their favorite child in the path they so carefully planned for them. To then have them turn to you as their last resort? Yep, that is most definitely the straw that breaks the camel's back.

We get it when parents try to use their own life experience to advise their children about important life choices. We don't get it when parents take it too far and attempt to control their kids. It's not worth it, and even if your kids do make mistakes that could have been avoided, well, that is just part of life.

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  • We disagree with every single decision the parents in the story below made, and apparently, so does their 16-year-old son. Luckily, he refuses to allow them to control his life like they did to his 18-year-old brother when he was their favorite child.

    Keep scrolling to read the full story…

  • 01
    ING ARMOUR SURVIVALRUN THUN
    via Jairph

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    AITAH for telling my parents I’m NOT the backup child and REFUSING to take over my brother’s future???

    So I (16M) have an older brother (19M) who was like the golden child growing up. Straight A's, varsity, honor roll, all that stuff. My
    via angusfdf
  • 03
    parents basically shaped their whole lives around his success, college savings, private tutors, weekend review centers, all of it.
    via angusfdf
  • 04
    Then... he crashed and burned. Got a girl pregnant, dropped out, and now he's working random jobs and living back at home. It s...ks,
    via angusfdf
  • 05
    yeah, but like... I get it, life happens. But ever since then, my parents have started shoving all their expectations on me.
    via angusfdf
  • 06
    Suddenly I'm being told I need to take nursing "because it's safe" even though I've said a million times I wanna do something in media or
    via angusfdf
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    design. They pulled me out of the art elective I LOVED and now I'm doing advanced science I didn't even sign up for. Last week, they said they were
    via angusfdf
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    "reallocating" my kuya's unused college funds to put ME through the same school THEY picked for him. Not asking me. Just straight up told me: "You're
    via angusfdf
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    our only shot now. You have to make it." I SNAPPED. I said, "I'm not your second chance. I'm your son, not your backup plan." My mom started
    via angusfdf
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    crying. My dad got quiet and said I was "being ungrateful” and that I "should feel lucky" they're even trying to help. Now the house is super tense
    via angusfdf
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    and my kuya texted me like "Bro, just do what they say. You'll thank them later." But I don't want their version of my future. I just want to live my OWN.
    via angusfdf
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    aitah for rejecting the life they planned for me even though they're "just trying to help" after everything fell apart???
    via angusfdf
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    Cheezburger Image 10522603520
    via Shivansh Sharma

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 14
    Melodic-Skin9045 NTA. No idea where you are at or how difficult it is to get into a college or what the job prospects are in media. Take a hard look at the last one because many student;s in the US took out huge loans for careers that are just not there.
    via Melodic-Skin9045
  • 15
    Immontes Ask them if they would prefer if you ended up pulling out (or not, no pun intended) of their plans like your brother did. You shouldn't be forced into something you don't want to do. I'm sorry they
    via Immontes
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    pulled you out of a class you truly enjoyed. I'm an educational psychologist and am against what they are doing. Feel free to show them this and other comments. Any chance you could get
    via Immontes
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    scholarships and stuff without their support? Talk to a guidance counselor just to discuss options if you go against their wishes? Keep open conversations with the teacher from the class you were pulled from. It's no
    via Immontes
  • 18
    wonder your brother dropped out. Wonder if he wasn't happy with THEIR choices that should be HIS and YOURS. Perhaps remind them that if you are forced to go their way you can/will go no contact the moment you are able to.
    via Immontes
  • 19
    DolwantToKnow6417 "Bro, just do what they say. You'll thank them later." ?? Feels like he just wants you to take over as the "golden"
    via DolwantToKnow6417
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    child, so they'll leave him. alone AND you can assist him financially in life once YOU succeed.... NTA
    via DolwantToKnow6417
  • 21
    AllyKalamity Something tells me that they have zero retirement savings and they're banking on you to financially support them
    via AllyKalamity
  • 22
    mynameisnotsparta It's not too late for your brother. He can go to school part time. Your parents need adapt. NTA. It's unfair of them to put this pressure on you.
    via mynameisnotsparta

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family drama aita kids brother mother siblings reddit story favoritism parenting career family Reddit golden child college parents children Father
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